The best tourist buses ever!
They are yellow, green, red, orange..Do you know who I am talking about? The tourist bus hyenas! They are everywhere! You can’t go pass a tourist spot in Budapest without bumping in at least a bunch of them! Watch out, if you look like a stranger, they will capture- and lure you to one of their packed double deckers! Hell knows what hungarian culture has to do with them buses, but hei, at least they are economic. So now, in my desperate seek of a job, which I did in between writing two paragraphs for my diploma work, and chatting, and feeding my virtual pigs on facebook, I came into Deák street. Along with the hords of intoxicated homeless people, and assorted lunatics, this spot is the main gathering place of the rare breed of the tourist bus hyena. The specimen is best known of his/her neon coloured t-shirt, and slightly hectic, suspicious looks. They are wandering around the place in smaller groups. The well prepared own bright coloured umbrellas, and some exceptional ones can even sit down on a chair. Last summer I had a great chance to analyse them, as I was also working on the streets selling audio guides from a bike (but thats another story). The audio guide company went bankrupt meanwhile (I just hope it was not thanks to my precious influence, although I sold out a record(!) of 3 guides within a month).
I approached the orange hyenas slowly..wishing to collect some information from them. For my question, if I can talk to their supervisor, they asked me abruptly, what do I want, how many languages do i speak??? „ÖÖÖ. Sorry, but I just wanted to know, where you office is?”
„ We can’t give out this information, we have been told not to!Anyway, how many languages do you speak!?”
„Is it a secret, where your office is?” Did I let myself smile, but, no they didn’t seem to take it as a joke. Well. I am more cunning than that, I have grown up on fine London mentality (at least part of my adult-self) so I didn’t give up, and went to see another member of the crew, a few meters away. She weirdly enough, kindly answered and told me the location of the camouflaged office. I went round the classicist evangelical church (which is the main building of the square), and looked for the place. It wasn’t easy to find, but they must have good reasons to hide it this much, I thought. I went in the nearby stamp-shop, where a nice old couple directed me to next door. The old, worn out door had no signs of an office. I daringly knocked. A woman’s head sticked out the door. „May I come in” I asked boldly. „What do you want” answered the rigorous head. Hmm, I would like to inquire about the job. „We don’t have any open positions, and anyway, how many languages do you speak?” „Do you see this list?” The „manager” I suppose, showed it up; me, still standing on the street shocked, not being able to move, or do anything. „You see, this many people are on the waiting list for the job..(30-40 names, an A4 size paper full), how many laguages do you speak?” „Well I do speak fluent english, a bit of german, and understand swedish quite well.” „Thats not enough” they said „U must at least speak 3 foreign languages fluently, and have intermediate exams proving your knowledge!”..As I left, paralyzed, I heard the hyena girl (who just came in from the street) swearing, shouting, how I dared to go and ask them. Well, thank you for your cooperation.
The ominous church (built in 1799-1808)
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